Thursday, January 31, 2008

Reality Check

I am having a bit of a hard time. I had actually convinced myself that running wouldn't be this hard. My good friend Mark told me "Sarah, the first four weeks will be so hard, you'll want to quit". And he was right.

I have a laundry list of "excuses" as to why I shouldn't run. It's too cold out, so I find it hard to breath. My knee hurts. My back hurts. It's snowing, or raining, or the sidewalks are icy. My running pants are dirty (lol)!

I made a commitment to myself that I was going to do this. That I could do this. But everytime I try to run, it feels like I am suffocating, like I can't catch my breath.

And then their is the otherside. The weight loss side. The first time I tried Weight Watchers, I rocked it! I lost eighty pounds in eight months. This time, it just seems so much harder. And I really didn't let myself go that badly while I was pregnant (both times). And of course, there is a lot on my mind right now, so I turn to food. I have eaten this week: A box of KD, a cinnamon bun, half of a brownie mountain, Wendy's. The list is continuous. I am in a funk, and all I want is to get out of it.............