My Life As I Know It

It's been a tough week.

On Thursday, my dear father in law Dave succumbed from a short battle from cancer. It was shocking and fast. His last few hours were comfortable for him. And luckily Colin and I were at his side with Mom in his last moments. It was heartbreaking and life affirming for me all at the same time.

The last four years have been trying on my own body. When Dave joined Weight Watchers in the fall of 2004 he had made the decision that he wanted to live a healthier life for himself. He was successful in taking off the weight and HE inspired me to do the same. After almost 80 pounds myself I became pregnant with Connor. And of course after, Sydney.

So I look at the positives of where I was and where I am today. I am still almost 80 pounds lighter than where I started. And I have two beautiful kids that I adore. And a loving and caring husband that loves me more today than yesterday.

This has been a week of reflection and sadness. I have a deep hole in the place where my heart should be. I ache for Colin and my mother in law. They have lost this wonderful husband and father. My kids lost an amazing grandfather. And I lost an amazing friend.

Some things will need to change for me to get back on track. But I am taking the rest of this week with my family to reflect on the time that has passed and the love we share.

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.